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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29019912">Breaking Schott</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gage39/pseuds/Gage39'>Gage39</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Supergirl (TV 2015)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Abuse, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Asexual Character, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Triggers</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:46:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>17,142</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29019912</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gage39/pseuds/Gage39</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>J'onn was worried. So far the morning had been quiet, uneventful which was never a good thing. Usually it led up to aliens attacking, prisoners escaping or, and his least favorite, personal issues. They could range from Alex's lack of a love life and the fact that she was very much crushing on a lady cop (no matter what she claimed) to Kara and James trying to find a new place to make out without getting caught. Honestly, the only one of his...family that didn't cause him a lot of stress was Winn.</p><p>Unfortunately, however, that hadn't been the case recently. Winn was currently dating an alien named Lyra. She seemed nice but something about her deeply unsettled J'onn and everyone else. Not only was she immune to J'onn's telepathy but Winn had turned into a shell of himself. He was jumpier than usual, he didn't hang out with them very much anymore and he had been sporting a fair amount of bruises and minor injuries lately.</p><p>All attempts to confront him hadn't succeeded, instead causing panic attacks which J'onn was sadly now well versed in helping him through.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>J'onn J'onzz | Hank Henshaw &amp; Winn Schott Jr., Kara Danvers/James "Jimmy" Olsen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>32</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Warning: this story deals with abuse and the aftermath of it. If you are easily triggered then don't read it!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>J'onn was worried. So far the morning had been quiet, uneventful which was never a good thing. Usually it led up to aliens attacking, prisoners escaping or, and his least favorite, </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal</span>
  </em>
  <span> issues. They could range from Alex's lack of a love life and the fact that she was very much crushing on a lady cop (no matter what she claimed) to Kara and James trying to find a new place to make out without getting caught. Honestly, the only one of his...family that </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't </span>
  </em>
  <span>cause him a lot of stress was Winn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, however, that hadn't been the case recently. Winn was currently dating an alien named Lyra. She seemed nice but something about her deeply unsettled J'onn and everyone else. Not only was she immune to J'onn's telepathy but Winn had turned into a shell of himself. He was jumpier than usual, he didn't hang out with them very much anymore and he had been sporting a fair amount of bruises and minor injuries lately.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>All attempts to confront him hadn't succeeded, instead causing panic attacks which J'onn was sadly now well versed in helping him through. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn considered all of them to be his family but Alex and Winn held special places in his heart. He had mentored Alex for several years, seeing her as an adopted daughter of sorts. Winn...well while he was a new member of J'onn's family the alien had quickly come to see him as a son, a feeling he knew was returned. Winn's lack of a father figure was glaringly obvious as was the way he looked up to J'onn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn was flattered and had made sure to let Winn know he was loved. He didn't say the words but he took an interest in Winn's work, patted him on the back and offered words of encouragement. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn had blossomed and been gaining some much needed self confidence when Lyra had walked into his life and destroyed all of his progress. None of them liked Lyra, especially after the incident in the bar when she threatened Winn with a broken beer bottle. They had all tried to convince him to leave her but he refused.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The current problem was that Winn was late. Winn was </span>
  <em>
    <span>never </span>
  </em>
  <span>late, rather he was usually early. J'onn was considering going to his apartment and retrieving him when his phone rang.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was National City Memorial Hospital which confused J'onn. He couldn't think of any reason for them to be calling him but he answered anyways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This is Gladys, I'm looking for Hank Henshaw?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This is him," J'onn was still puzzled but went along. No doubt she would explain herself in a few moments then he could get back to worrying about his missing agent.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry to disturb you, Mr. Henshaw, but we have you listed as the next of kin for a Winn Schott?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn's stomach dropped. "Is he okay?" He asked, praying for a good answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes, sir," Gladys assured him. "Unfortunately he is unconscious and the police are waiting to question him. The doctor was hoping that you could come down so he could discuss his findings with you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn was already on his way out the door. "I'll be there in a few minutes," he promised then promptly hung up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he walked through the hallways, a scowl on his face, he couldn't help but wonder what sort of trouble Winn had gotten himself into this time. At least the nurse hadn't seemed worried but the mention of the police was worrying.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong?" Alex appeared at his side.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn is in the hospital. I need you to call your girlfriend and ask her what's going on. All I know so far is that police are involved but I'm on my way there now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"On it," Alex nodded, not bothering to protest that Maggie wasn't her girlfriend. The situation was too serious right now, she could argue later. "And I'll give Kara a call. She's in a meeting right now but she can head that way when she gets done."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Excellent," J'onn nodded in agreement. "I'll call you when I get some news."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sounds good," Alex gave him a thumbs up then broke off, pulling her phone out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>No one else dared bother him after catching sight of his face. J'onn made his way to the parking lot then proceeded to ignore as many of the traffic laws as he safely could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>In no time at all he found himself standing at the nurses station in National City Memorial Hospital. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yes?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm Hank Henshaw," he introduced himself to the nurse. "I'm here to see Winn Schott?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The nurse perked up immediately. "Excellent," she grinned then waved over a man in a lab coat. "He's here to see Mr. Schott," she explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ah, excellent," the doctor looked relieved. "The police are getting antsy and I can't guarantee when Mr. Schott will wake up."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong with him?" J'onn asked, praying that it was something simple, like a panic attack or a sprain. But his gut said otherwise.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor sighed. "My understanding is that he either fell or was pushed down a flight of stairs at his apartment complex. He has a severe concussion, numerous cuts and bruises including some bruised ribs and a broken ankle on his left side. He also sprained his left wrist pretty badly. Now normally that wouldn't be a serious problem but that wrist has been broken on multiple occasions and healed incorrectly. So that will most definitely delay the healing and if it continues to heal wrong he may lose all use in that hand."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn's shoulders sagged. He had read Winn's file, although he had skimmed around the details surrounding his numerous hospital visits as a child. Hearing the confirmation of the abuse made his heart ache, just a little.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Is there anything you can do for him?" He asked. If Winn lost the use of his hand he would be devastated plus he would no longer be able to work a computer like he once had. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor hesitated then nodded. "The only thing I can do is re-break the wrist. He wouldn't be able to do much with it for a few weeks and it will always give him some trouble but he won't have to worry about losing the use of it. Unfortunately, since he's unconscious I need permission from his next of kin which is you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn sighed. He hated making decisions like this but that was the reason he was an emergency contact. After discovering that Winn </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't have anyone</span>
  </em>
  <span> to put down he had put himself down. "Do it," he ordered. "Do whatever you think needs to be done."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"All right," the doctor nodded. "I'll get right on it. The police are waiting to talk to someone," he pointed to two officers lingering in the corner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," J'onn nodded as the doctor left. He walked over to the police officers who straightened when they saw him, somehow sensing that he was not a man to be trifled with. "I am Hank Henshaw, Mr. Schott's next of kin. I was told that you have questions."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, actually, we do." The cop that spoke was middle-aged with a beer belly. "We were called to his apartment after we received reports of a domestic disturbance. When we got there we found Mr. Schott lying at the bottom of the stairs. Looked like somebody worked him over pretty good before pushing him down."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn's frown deepened. This wasn't looking good. "Do you have any suspects?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The cops exchanged looks then the younger one spoke. "Most of the occupants were gone at the time so we don't have any witnesses except for an old lady who insists she saw an alien push him but I doubt it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn growled. He had no doubt that Lyra was responsible for this and he had every intention of hunting her down after making sure Winn was going to be okay. Since she was an alien it fell under his jurisdiction and he had every intention of putting Alex or James on her trail. He would put Kara on it but he was a little afraid she would "forget" that she wasn't supposed to use her heat vision and he didn't trust himself either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His phone rang and he answered it, upon seeing that it was Alex. He quickly walked away from the cops and moved to a more private corner.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you have anything?" He asked urgently. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex took a shuddering breath then said, "Unfortunately yes. According to some of Maggie's colleague's they've been called out to Winn's place multiple times on domestic disturbances. Every time they showed up Winn apologized for the shouting, which was primarily done by a female, and seemed quite nervous. He denied there was anything wrong and their hands were tied."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Dammit," J'onn swore. "The cops I just spoke to said that an alien was seen pushing Winn down the stairs at his apartment building. Call James then the two of you can start looking for her. I'm fixing to go and see if Winn is awake yet."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How is he?" Alex asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I haven't seen him yet but he has a broken ankle, and a concussion and they're going to have to re-break his wrist so it can heal properly," J'onn told her. "Apparently it's been broken multiple times and he didn't get proper medical treatment so now he's facing the possibility that he might lose the use of it. The doctor is going to see if he can get it to heal correctly this time."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was silence then Alex said, "Kara is going to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>pissed</span>
  </em>
  <span>."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn silently agreed. Despite their occasional differences and the fact that she was dating James despite Winn's obvious love for her the two were still very close.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll let everyone know then I'm going to head your way," Alex promised before hanging up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since Winn was now in surgery J'onn spent the next hour pacing back and forth, checking in with the others from time to time. Kara was still busy so she hadn't been told yet but Alex had already informed James who was helping her run down leads on Lyra.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The police had told him that Winn's apartment would be released within another hour or two then he could go and collect some of Winn's things. The younger man would need someone to stay with him for a few weeks so J'onn had already decided that Winn would be crashing at his place for a while. He would no doubt complain but he needed a safe place to recover in, not where he had been abused or a place that Lyra knew the location of.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was contemplating just reading everyone's minds when the doctor appeared in front of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for the wait, Mr. Henshaw, we had to correct some nerve damage in his hand. The surgery was a success and the hand should heal correctly this time. However, he will need to have it monitored very closely to make sure there is no further nerve damage."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn nodded. Winn would be receiving the best medical care the DEO could offer, utilizing some of the inventions that he had actually built.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"May I see him?" He asked. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course," the doctor nodded. "He's in room 215, a private room like you requested. He's still out but he should be waking up soon. Having a familiar face should help with some of the disorientation. I want him to stay overnight for observation but he'll be free to go in the morning."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," J'onn said sincerely then went to see Winn.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn looked pale, his head wrapped in bandages. His left wrist and ankle were securely wrapped as well, his ankle slightly suspended in the air and his wrist in a sling. He looked younger than usual, with all the tubes and wires running out of him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn swallowed and sat next to him in the standard, uncomfortable hospital chair. He would have spoken but physical words meant little to a Martian. Instead, he placed a hand on Winn's forehead and projected his thoughts: </span>
  <em>
    <span>Be well soon, I will be waiting for you when you decide to awake.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn's fingers twitched and but there was no other sign. J'onn didn't care though, having noticed how his heart rate had spiked momentarily. Winn knew he was there, that was all that mattered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He texted Alex, letting her know that Winn was out of surgery then settled back to wait. A few minutes later there was a gust of wind and Kara stood there, her eyes shining with unshed tears. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How is he?" She obviously wanted to use her x-ray vision but didn't, waiting to ask for his permission first. Unlike her cousin she viewed it as an invasion of privacy, especially when it came to someone like Winn who had enough issues that he didn't need to worry about that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn repeated the list of injuries, watching her face darken. "The doctor stopped by a few minutes ago, not all of the injuries were from today."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitch</span>
  </em>
  <span>," Kara hissed. "I'm going to kill her."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No," J'onn said firmly. "Personally I agree with you but we both know that Winn would be devastated. For reasons I can't begin to fathom not only does he care for her but he has a good heart despite everything he's been through and he wouldn't want you to do this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara's shoulders slumped. "I know," she sighed, pulling up the other chair and sitting in it. "I feel guilty, like I should have done more. I told him I would be there if he wanted to talk but maybe I should've spied on him or something. If I had he might not be here right now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"If you had done that then it's entirely possible we would've lost him altogether and he would still be in this situation but without us," J'onn pointed out. "At least this way we can be here for him. We'll support him no matter what."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're right," Kara sighed. "I still wish there was something else I could do."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"As do I but until he wakes up the only thing we can do is sit here and wait. I don't want him to wake up alone," J'onn said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn's abandonment issues were easy to spot, even without reading his file. J'onn knew that his mother had left him as soon as his father was arrested and he had been dumped in the foster care system. He hadn't been moved around much but still. His mother leaving had taken a toll on him and then there were his romantic partners, all of whom had left him as well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Agreed," Kara toyed with her fingers. "Is he going to stay at the DEO while he's recuperating?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was a fair question but J'onn shook his head. "He'll be staying with me. I'm going to his apartment in a little bit and get his things. I'm waiting for the police to release it first."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll come," Kara offered. "I know what he won't want left behind. Alex and James should be here by then, they can stay with him."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn shot her an unimpressed look. "Avoiding him will just make him feel worse and you know that. You can give me a list and I'll pick it up. Besides, there might be clues to Lyra's whereabouts there."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"True," Kara admitted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A groan caught their attention and they both turned to see Winn's eyelids fluttering and his fingers twitching.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara reached out and grabbed his hand, gently squeezing it. "It's okay, Winn, I'm here. It's safe to open your eyes," she coaxed him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're both here," J'onn added, placing his hand on Winn's forearm. "You're safe, Winn, no one can hurt you here."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Finally, after some more coaxing, Winn finally opened his eyes. </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Winn finally wakes up and the damage done to his apartment is seen.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Winn was in </span>
  <em>
    <span>agony</span>
  </em>
  <span> when he woke up. Everything hurt and he couldn't figure out why. There were...voices. Familiar ones, ones that meant safety. He...knew them so he followed them. The pain got worse as he fought his way to consciousness but, somehow, he knew it didn't matter. They would take care of him, no matter what.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he finally opened his eyes it was to see J'onn and Kara standing there, worry written on both of their faces. Kara was holding his hand and J'onn was touching his arm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wh-what happened?" His voice was hoarse and his throat dry. Thankfully, J'onn had probably read his mind and handed him a glass of water with a straw in it, carefully supporting his head so he could drink from it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara looked nervous but answered anyways. "You...you were pushed down the stairs at your apartment earlier this morning. Do you remember that?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn flinched, angry voices ringing through his head. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Worthless! Useless! The only thing you're good for is pleasuring me and you can't even do that right!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Glass shattered, he remembered flinching.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Look at what you've made me do! Clean this mess up immediately!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Didn't he drop something? Make a bigger mess?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn," J'onn said sharply and he felt a hand against his forehead, a rush of calm running through him. "I'm sorry but you were getting agitated. I couldn't risk you hurting yourself."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay," he managed to whisper. He didn't particularly want to be trapped in his memories either.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No, it's not," J'onn smiled at him, albeit sadly. "But we'll do our best to make it okay. Be careful about moving," he warned. "You have some broken bones and bruised ribs not to mention a nasty concussion. The doctor said you can go home in the morning."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>That</span>
  </em>
  <span> sent Winn into a panic. He immediately tried to sit up, only to double over in pain as his body screamed at him. It hurt so much to move but he had to. Lyra would be coming home from work in a few hours and he had to have the place spotless before then. That was the rule, whatever mess was made because of him was something that he was supposed to clean up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She might actually kill him if it wasn't cleaned up. If nothing else she might leave and he didn't think he could handle that. He didn't want to be left alone, not again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn!" </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were hands on him now, trying to push him back down and he panicked even more. His struggle intensified but he wasn't winning. There were more voices now and there was a sharp pinch in his arm then everything went black.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>As J'onn pulled into the parking lot of Winn's apartment complex he couldn't help but replay the horrified, scared look on Kara's face when Winn had had his freak out. Winn having to be knocked out again certainly hadn't helped matters any. But, sadly, the panic attack was not only understandable but predictable. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The doctor hadn't been happy but he hadn't had a choice in the matter. Winn was so worked up that he was actually making his injuries worse. If he acted that way the next time he woke up then his hospital stay would have to be prolonged which would </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> be a good thing considering Winn's hatred for medical staff and the medbay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With a sigh J'onn parked his car and entered the complex. Immediately, his eyes were drawn to the blood stains at the bottom of the stairs where Winn had undoubtedly landed. Thankfully, there wasn't a lot of blood but he ignored the area and used the elevator. It was slower to be sure but he had no interest in walking up something that could have killed a member of his family.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Crime scene tape covered his door and J'onn ignored it as he unlocked the door and entered the apartment. Instantly, he knew a fight had happened, judging by the shattered glasses and items strewn across the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It appeared to have started in the kitchen, Winn had been backed up against the counter but had somehow managed to make it out, leading the trail of destruction into the living room and out the front door to the stairs.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Anger filled J'onn as he surveyed the mess. Not only had Lyra hurt him physically but she had destroyed his personal belongings. This...this was unacceptable. On Mars she would have been put to death but not here. Well, it was okay, she would still pay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He found a broom and swept up the glass so no one would get hurt when they came back later. He cleaned the fridge of anything that would go bad while Winn was staying with him. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Next he consulted the list Kara had given him and began searching for Winn's valuables. He found three laptops and bagged them, knowing better than to leave anything tech related behind. Some of the items that Kara had mentioned weren't where they were supposed to be and he frowned as he moved into the bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The bedroom was </span>
  <em>
    <span>spotless </span>
  </em>
  <span>yet there was nothing personal that looked like it belonged to Winn. Almost everything in the dresser was clearly Lyra's so he just grabbed everything that was Winn's and threw it on the bed to sort through.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The closet finally revealed several cardboard boxes, all neatly labeled as 'Winn's Stuff'. There J'onn found everything on the list and didn't bother unpacking them. His goal was to see if he could get Winn to find somewhere else to live after all this was over with.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was easy for him to carry all of Winn's stuff out to the car, even if he did get a few weird looks from the elderly lady down the hall. She hadn't threatened to call the cops though and a quick sweep of her mind revealed that she disliked Lyra as much as the rest of them did. She seemed genuinely fond of Winn and had sent a plate of cookies with J'onn to take to the hospital. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After dropping all of the stuff off at his apartment and putting it in his spare room J'onn went back to the hospital where Alex and James were now waiting.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>James had been having a pretty good day until Alex called and told him the news. His day shattered and he quickly found himself hunting down Lyra with a ferocity that seemed to scare the other members of the DEO but he didn't care. Neither did Alex if her watery eyes were any indication. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They hadn't captured her yet but they knew where she was, J'onn had insisted they wait until he talked to Winn. So they left an entire squad on her trail and went to the hospital where Kara was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She had been crying when James called earlier so he rushed to her side the second they found his room. Her eyes were red and she willingly slipped into his arms.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"H-he woke up," she sobbed. "But he was panicking, he kept saying she would be mad at him if he didn't have the apartment clean when she got home. The doctor finally had to knock him back out."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We found her," Alex quietly told her sister. "She won't get away from us, I promise and she'll pay for what she did."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah," James added, pressing a kiss to her temple. "Winn'll wake up soon and everything will go back to normal. Maybe."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>As he hugged his girlfriend James surveyed his best friend. Winn, who didn't have a hateful bone in his body except for his parents and even </span>
  <em>
    <span>that</span>
  </em>
  <span> was questionable, looked like he had just gone three rounds with a professional boxer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was hard to believe that someone could hurt him like that. James knew that people could be cruel, that people liked poking fun at others but this? This was completely different from someone yelling homopjobic slurs at Winn or making comments about his dad. This was...this was attempted murder.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn got there soon after, which was about the time Winn woke up again. His eyes fluttered for a few moments and James let go of his girlfriend long enough to squeeze his hand as his fingers started twitching.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn, buddy, can you hear me?" James asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, Winn's eyes opened and he looked at them dully. James was worried by his friend's calmness then remembered Kara mentioning that he had been given some sedatives earlier, ones designed to keep a person calm.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey," his voice sounded terrible. "What happened earlier?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You had a panic attack," Kara answered. "The doctor had to sedate you. He said you would feel loopy and tired for awhile."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Oh. Okay."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words were dull, lacking Winn's usual spark.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You should be able to leave in the morning," J'onn told him. "But you'll need someone to help you out so you'll be staying with me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James expected an argument but Winn didn't say anything, choosing instead to look at the wall. This newfound depression was alarming and James wasn't sure what to do. He felt oddly nervous and looked helplessly at J'onn who quickly took control of the situation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why don't you go get the doctor?" He suggested. "I need to talk to Winn privately for a moment."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sure," James agreed and quickly guided Kara and Alex out of the room, shutting the door behind them.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Once the others had left J'onn turned his attention back to Winn who was still staring at the wall.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn? Can you look at me?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Slowly, reluctantly Winn did so and J'onn could see the embarrassment and shame in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not your fault," J'onn told him. "You didn't deserve what Lyra did to you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But-but I made her angry," Winn's voice was dull and lifeless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't matter," J'onn said firmly. "Nothing you did warrants being pushed down a flight of stairs. I will be telling her that as well."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn turned to look at J'onn. "Is she in jail?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn shook his head. "Not yet. I wanted to see if you would be willing to press charges against her first. I still plan to take her in of course. Regardless of what you say she was still witnessed trying to kill you. I can take her in through the DEO or you can press charges and we can do it the legal way."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn flushed and J'onn could feel the self-loathing rolling off of him. "She didn't mean to," his voice was soft with just a hint of emotion. "I made her mad and she lost control. It was my fault."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn let out a heavy sigh. "No it wasn't. Winn, there was nothing you could've done that warranted this. I know it's hard to believe right now but I'm serious."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Then why does everyone hurt me?" Winn asked, his eyes watery.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know," J'onn answered honestly. "But they were wrong just like Lyra is. We want to help you, Winn, but to do that you have to take the first step."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn rubbed at his eyes and J'onn handed him a box of tissues sitting next to the glass of water on the bedside table. "But everyone will think I'm weak, well weaker than everyone thinks I am now," he corrected himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No one thinks you're weak," J'onn told him with a frown. "It's true that you don't have powers but your mind more than makes up for that. No one will think any less of you after this, I promise."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn considered him for a long moment then slowly nodded. "Okay. I'll do it. I'll press charges against Lyra."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn smiled. "You won't be alone," he promised. "We'll be with you every step of the way."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He could see the doubt in Winn's eyes but the younger man nodded regardless.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn pulled out his phone and called Alex. "Have her brought in," was all he said when she picked up the phone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"On it," Alex sounded relieved as she hung up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So what happens now?" Winn asked quietly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Now? You let the doctor look over you again and in the morning you'll come to my place where you'll stay until you can get around on your own. I already got your stuff from your apartment, Kara told me what to get so you don't have to worry about it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Some of the tension fled Winn's shoulders and he nodded in thanks. "I appreciate it," he said hoarsely.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not a problem," J'onn smiled.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Winn is released from the hospital</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>To Winn's obvious surprise he wasn't left alone that night. J'onn stayed with him, and the two stayed up watching TV. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to stay," Winn tried to tell him. "I'm used to being on my own."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Nonsense," J'onn said firmly. "What kind of Space Dad would I be if I left you all alone?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The question was rhetorical but Winn still answered. "You're an awesome Space Dad," he said. "But I know you've got a ton of other stuff that you need to do and you need sleep and-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn," J'onn cut him off. "I </span>
  <em>
    <span>want</span>
  </em>
  <span> to be here with you. I'm needed right here and that's where I plan to stay. Besides, I'm from outer space, sleep isn't as big of a deal on Mars as it is here."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Technically speaking that </span>
  <em>
    <span>was</span>
  </em>
  <span> the truth. He didn't need as much sleep as a human being did but he had grown to enjoy sleeping. Still, he could survive one night without it especially since he was obviously needed here, despite Winn's weak protests.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn didn't answer but started flipping channels again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sensing a subject change was in order J'onn said, "You're off for two weeks then you're going to be on light duty. I would give you three weeks off but I don't want you to die of boredom."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn cracked a smile and winced when he tried to flex his left wrist. "Again?" He whined. "I can't believe I broke it again."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn gave him a stern look. "Yes, again. Although, technically speaking, you only sprained it. But when the doctor looked at the x-rays he realized it had healed wrong the </span>
  <em>
    <span>last</span>
  </em>
  <span> time it broke and was causing nerve damage so he had to re-break it to see if he could prevent further nerve damage. He said you were at risk for losing the ability to use that hand if it healed wrong again."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn blanched. Computers were his life and everyone knew it. It would be impossible for him to do everything that he did now if he lost a hand.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's okay," J'onn assured him, feeling the waves of panic rising off of Winn. "They caught it in time but you will have to take a break from using it until it heals. Which is another reason why you're going to be staying with me. You'll need someone to help you get around and I'm not sure how comfortable you would be being around a woman right now."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn flushed again and he radiated shame, even as he reluctantly nodded. Besides, his feelings for both Kara and James wouldn't help the matter any plus this would be a good excuse to get Winn used to the idea of seeing a therapist which he desperately needed. Sure his regular doctor had given him something to help with his anxiety but he still needed professional help.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If he felt comfortable enough to confide in J'onn then maybe he would be willing to talk to someone else. It wasn't very likely but J'onn clung to that hope anyway.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry for all of this," Winn's voice was quiet as he sought out J'onn's gaze. "I never meant for any of this to happen."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn frowned. "None of this is your fault, Winn. It isn't your fault that Lyra turned out to be a terrible person and I know you certainly didn't ask her to hurt you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But I didn't fight back," Winn argued. "Not even once. I just cowered in the corner and waited for her to stop throwing stuff."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And there's nothing wrong with that. I've read your file, Winn. I know this isn't the first time you've been abused. You've gotten used to it, you think it's normal. So, no, I'm not surprised that you didn't fight back. That particular response was trained out of you a long time ago."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn didn't say anything but his breathing picked up and J'onn was able to see brief images of Winn cowering, both as an adult and as a child. He could hear shouts and shattering glass, could feel the pain as fists and glass hit flesh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn," J'onn rested his hand on Winn's forehead again. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"It's okay, Winn. You're safe here, I promise. No one can hurt you while I'm here."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I know, but it's so hard </span>
  </em>
  <span>not</span>
  <em>
    <span> to be scared,"</span>
  </em>
  <span> Winn thought back. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"Logically I know that but my head doesn't let me feel safe."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"And there's nothing wrong with that. It's going to take time for you to learn to trust again. I will do everything in my power to help you. You're the closest thing I've ever had to a son and I'm proud to call you that."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn let out a choked sob. </span>
  <em>
    <span>"No one's </span>
  </em>
  <span>ever</span>
  <em>
    <span> been proud of me, except one of my exes. And no one has ever called me their son and meant it."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I do," J'onn said out loud. "I am very proud to call you my son."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn's smile was watery. "Coolest Space Dad ever."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn smiled and squeezed his hand. "Since I have to keep you awake now, how about you tell me about this ex of yours. He sounds like a nice person."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He was," Winn agreed.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time morning rolled around Winn was tired and cranky and even J'onn wanted nothing more than to go home and climb in his bed. The second Winn was released they eagerly left, Winn looking happier once they were in the car. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I am </span>
  <em>
    <span>so </span>
  </em>
  <span>happy to be gone," he groaned. "I hate hospitals, I spent enough time there when I was a kid."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know and I'm glad you're out as well."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn hadn't gone into much detail last night about his past, mostly focusing on the (so far) only decent romantic partner he had had. True, he had left Winn but that was only due to his ex-girlfriend showing up, four months pregnant and threatening to get an abortion if he didn't come back to her. Winn held no hard feelings and neither did J'onn. The two still kept in touch and were good friends.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So you don't mind me staying?" Winn asked for what J'onn was sure, the hundredth time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Positive," J'onn replied. "I have a spare bedroom and I already put your stuff in the closet. I didn't go through anything but I went ahead and laid out a change of clothes for you since I'm sure you plan to go to sleep the second we get there."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yep," Winn nodded in confirmation. "I just need to find my meds and I'm going to bed."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Those are on the nightstand." Unlike the rest of his stuff Winn's medicine had been easy to find. It was in the medicine cabinet and he had been careful to keep them in the order they had been arranged. He had been a little surprised that Lyra had let Winn take them until Kara pointed out that Winn literally could not function without his anxiety medicine. She actually kept some at her place, just in case of an emergency. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Winn sounded sincere. "I really appreciate everything that you're doing for me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's no problem," J'onn smiled. "Like I said last night, I consider you my son and a member of my family, which means I want to take care of you. You deserve that, even if you don't think it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn frowned but didn't say anything else as they pulled into J'onn's parking lot. His apartment was on the third floor so J'onn helped Winn into the elevator. Since his left wrist was broken he could only use one crutch which inevitably threw his balance off significantly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn supported him as they walked down the hallway but Winn was still sweating and groaning in pain by the time he actually got to sit on his temporary bed. He was all too happy to take the pain meds the doctor had prescribed that Alex had picked up and dropped off that morning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you need help changing?" J'onn asked, knowing there was no way Winn could get in his pajamas with only one hand. Winn reddened but nodded, having been forced to let the nurse help him get dressed earlier in a pair of hospital issued sweats.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took some doing but they finally managed to get Winn into his pajamas, J'onn forcing himself to ignore the scars on Winn's back, his considerable knowledge informing him that they had been made by a leather belt.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm good now, you don't have to stay," Winn yawned after taking his medicine. The anxiety medicine always made him sleepy and so were the painkillers he had been given combined with the fact that he had stayed up all night, talking to J'onn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll stay until you fall asleep," J'onn was firm. He knew that Winn had trouble sleeping unless someone was there, no doubt another reason why he hadn't broken up with Lyra. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Suit yourself," Winn shrugged then promptly fell asleep, snoring.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn waited a few minutes then headed to his room, texting everyone to let them know they had made it home safely before going to bed himself.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since J'onn had given her the day off Kara decided to go to Winn's apartment and do some cleaning. J'onn had told her that Lyra had pretty much trashed the place before trying to kill Winn so Kara thought she would do something about it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She cheerfully waved at Mrs. Halstead then let herself in, grateful someone had cleaned up the blood downstairs. The apartment didn't look as bad as she had feared but that was likely because J'onn had already gotten rid of the broken glass.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Armed with several garbage bags, a broom and dustpan and a duster Kara set about cleaning the place up. Typically she loved cleaning but...not today. Probably because it was her best friend's place and she didn't like seeing this level of violence here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn had never gone into detail about his past but she knew it was bad. His apartment was supposed to be his sanctuary, the place where he could hide when things got too much for him. But now? Now that-that </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitch</span>
  </em>
  <span> had gone and destroyed all that. Winn would never be able to feel safe here again and that </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurt.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were books lying on the floor, pages ripped and spines broken. She didn't have to see the titles to know they were Winn's. Most of them were gifts from her but she knew at least two of them had come from his childhood and weren't easily replaced.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wrote down all the titles so that she could see about replacing them and reluctantly threw the damaged ones away, salvaging some of the some personal notes that had been written in the front. If nothing else maybe the messages would make him feel better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She couldn't see any of his action figures but at least they weren't broken or shattered like some of the picture frames. At least three of the photos had been torn in half, including one of her and Winn at the local Carnival. The rest had been scratched but she held onto them, hoping that someone at the DEO could repair the damage.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The stuff that she </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn't </span>
  </em>
  <span>recognize, that she knew was Lyra's was unceremoniously thrown in a garbage bag. She would destroy it with her heat vision later. It was the least she could do since J'onn and Alex wouldn't let her go see Lyra and punch her in the face. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn had already cleaned out the fridge so she focused on going through the cabinets and getting rid of Lyra's stuff. Sure, it was a little mean-spirited but Winn could have died and that thought alone spurred her on.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She took great delight in tearing apart most of Lyra's clothes, the ones that looked expensive and had probably cost poor Winn an arm and a leg. Anything that still had the tags on it went in a separate pile so she could take them back. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a few hours but when she was done the apartment gleamed, no indication that a fight had ever broken out here. She surveyed her work with pride then happily left, taking the garbage with her so she could burn it later.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Winn somehow manages to survive another day, despite more death threats from Lyra.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Thankfully the medicine was strong enough that Winn actually slept with no nightmares. He was grateful as it meant he hadn't disturbed J'onn. His attempt to get out of bed resulted in a </span>
  <em>
    <span>lot</span>
  </em>
  <span> of pain since he tried to use his left hand to support himself. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He gritted his teeth and tried to ride out the pain when J'onn appeared in the door, his appearance slightly disheveled, no doubt having felt the pain from his room. Winn had to stifle a grin when he realized that J'onn was wearing Superman pajamas. He could honestly say, that wasn't something he had ever expected to see his boss wearing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They were a gag gift," J'onn sighed. "Are you alright?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I just need to pee," Winn grimaced as he cradled his wrist. "I forgot it was broken."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Here," J'onn held out a hand and Winn barely held back a flinch. He knew J'onn wouldn't hurt him but old habits die hard after all and the ones he'd been able to suppress had come back with a vengeance.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn smiled sadly as he carefully helped Winn to his feet. He didn't say anything as he grabbed Winn's crutch and guided him to the bathroom. Thankfully there were still some things that Winn could do by himself and this was one of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to go back to your room or the living room?" J'onn asked. "I was just about to make some lunch."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Lunch sounds good," Winn grinned, his stomach growling. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It should be about time for some more of your pain medicine and you're not supposed to take it on an empty stomach," J'onn said as they entered the living room. Winn was promptly sent to the couch where his ankle was propped up and he was given the remote before J'onn went back to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not wanting to disturb J'onn Winn found a documentary about ancient Egypt and kept the volume low. His phone was sitting on the coffee table and Winn eagerly grabbed it, wondering if he had missed anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were sixteen missed calls from J'onn,  Kara, Alex and James the morning of his fall along with several text messages, demanding to know his whereabouts then well wishes for a speedy recovery. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His breath hitched, however, when he realized that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Lyra </span>
  </em>
  <span>had texted him yesterday as well. With trembling fingers he clicked on the messages to see what she had to say.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I'm sorry about this morning, darling, but you just made me so angry that I couldn't think straight. I didn't mean to hurt you, surely you know that. Still, don't forget to clean up the mess you forced me to make. I'll be home around six then we can go out to dinner. You really need to learn to cook, I'm getting tired of take-out. We'll start your lessons this weekend. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the hell did you say?! Why are there DEO agents following me?! I don't know what you told them but you better call them off if you know what's good for you.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>If you don't put a stop to this I </span>
  </em>
  <span>will ruin </span>
  <em>
    <span>you. I know who your friends are, don't think I won't reveal them to the world.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Why aren't you answering me?! I demand to know what's going on </span>
  </em>
  <span>right now!</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Winslow, if you don't answer me I will find you and I will make you watch as I torture and kill everyone you hold dear before killing you. Then I will free your father and let everyone think you did it. Don't try me, you know I'll do it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were no more messages from her but Winn was too busy freaking out to notice. The phone fell out of his hands, clattering to the floor but he was too focused on trying to breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His throat felt like it was swelling shut and it was suddenly difficult to breathe. He distantly registered that he was hyperventilating then there were suddenly hands on him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn froze. This was it. He had been found and now there was going to be nothing but pain. He tried desperately to get away but he was trapped, there was nowhere to go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Winn!"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The voice was familiar and someone he needed to obey. He tried clinging to it, tried to follow it but it was so hard.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Winn, I need you to breathe. Can you do that? Take a deep breath and let it out slowly."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a few minutes of coaching but Winn finally managed to calm down enough to realize that he was on J'onn's couch, pressed into a corner and crying. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn knelt in front of him, his hands on Winn's shoulders. "Are you back?" He asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I-I think so," Winn wiped at his face but made no move to shrug J'onn off so the Martian didn't let go.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"May I ask what happened?" J'onn's tone was gentle, no hint of judgment in his voice.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ly-Lyra texted me," he managed to stammer, indicating the phone that was lying on the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"May I?" J'onn asked and Winn nodded, albeit shakily. Still keeping a hand on his shoulder J'onn picked up the phone and read the messages, his face darkening. "First of all you're getting your number changed," he said. "Second, I will call everyone in a minute and tell them to be on alert but I doubt she has any friends stupid enough to try something. You're also going to either change your security codes at your apartment or you're moving. I don't care which but I think you should find a new place, somewhere that she's never been."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn looked down. He loved his apartment, and had been so excited to finally have his own place that didn't require walking through back alleys to reach. But… J'onn had a point. The place would forever be stained by the memory of Lyra, much like his first apartment had reminded him far too much of Paul and Chris.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to make a decision right now," J'onn assured him. "Just think about it, okay?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn nodded, chewing on his bottom lip. This was getting out of hand. He couldn't remember the last time he had had so many panic attacks in such a short amount of time. Actually, no, he could. He and Danny had just started dating the last time this happened.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But lunch is ready, I'll bring some to you," J'onn patted Winn's shoulders again then went back into the kitchen.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>To say that Alex was not amused by Lyra's threats would have been an understatement. Trying to kill Winn was bad enough but to drag her sister and Winn's father into this? Oh, Lyra was so lucky that she was in custody and under constant surveillance or else Alex would have already pulled out her trusty gun and emptied the clip into her, J'onn and his rules be damned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Maggie had been nice enough to send her copies of all the police reports filed from whenever the police were called to Winn's apartment. She noticed the details of bruises and how Winn seemed to be scared. There was a notation that one of the officers had given him a pamphlet on a nearby domestic abuse shelter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex couldn't stomach the thought of </span>
  <em>
    <span>Winn</span>
  </em>
  <span> spending the night at an abuse shelter anymore than the thought (or rather reality now) of him being hurt bad enough to go to the hospital. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But it was okay. Lyra was in jail and Winn was safe and sound at J'onn's where he could recover in peace. J'onn had said that they could come by later as long as they understood that Winn's emotional state was very fragile and likely would be for some time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex had never dealt with victims of abuse before so she had found herself turning to James who, during his illustrious career as a photographer, had come into contact with many different types of people.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He's going to be even more jumpy for a while," James explained to her and Kara over lunch. "More than he normally is."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I fail to see how that's possible," Kara happily stole one of James's potstickers. "Actually I take that back. If it's anything like when he ran out of his meds then we'll have our work cut out for us."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex vaguely remembered Kara telling her about that. She had spent two days trying to coax Winn out of his closet until his meds had been refilled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And it goes without saying but be careful about touching him or mentioning Lyra," James warned. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Obviously," Alex rolled her eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Can I tell him about destroying all of her stuff?" Kara asked. "I gathered it all up then used my heat vision to set it on fire."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Why didn't you invite me?" Alex wanted to know. "I promise, it's one time when I wouldn't have given you a lecture about your powers."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't think about it," Kara shrugged sheepishly. "I was just focused on destroying her stuff the way she did Winn's."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James sighed. "You can but I don't know if it'll do any good. You should probably ask J'onn first. He's honestly the best one to ask about this stuff. I only know what Clark told me from some of his interviews."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But Winn did agree to press charges, right?" Kara turned to her sister who nodded.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah, J'onn convinced him," Alex confirmed. "I'm pretty sure he's probably pretty embarrassed by all this. You guys know Winn doesn't have very much self-esteem."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Any," Kara corrected. "He had very little when I first met him and now he has none. She took it all, along with his apartment and his stuff. The only thing he has left is us."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"And that's all he needs," James reached across the table and squeezed both of their hands. "As long as he has us then he'll be fine."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We're family," Alex smiled.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn was glad the others had taken his advice and come to visit one at a time. Kara was first, having been ordered by James and Alex to make peace with the fact that she hadn't noticed how bad things had gotten for her best friend. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She came in quietly, clutching a bag to her chest. "Hey, Winn," she tried smiling. It looked a little stiff and J'onn sighed internally from his armchair. This was going to be a long night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Kara," Winn drew the blanket closer around him, as if trying to shield himself from view.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I got you something," Kara held out the bag. "I noticed that yours were ah, not in good condition anymore so I got you a replacement."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn looked startled but took the bag. He cautiously reached in and pulled out two books and a framed picture. His eyes lit up and he looked at Kara. "You didn't have to get this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I wanted to," she smiled nervously. "I know those books meant a lot to you even if they are a little below your comprehension."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Everything is below my comprehension," he joked. "Book wise at least. People, not so much."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I had a copy of our picture at the Carnival so I made an extra one for you. The frame was broken so I had to buy you another one. It wasn't the same but you can buy another one later if you want."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No," Winn shook his head. "It's perfect, thanks. I really appreciate you going to all this trouble but you didn't have to. I don't deserve it, not after-"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara's innate nature took over and she rushed forward, wrapping him in a hug. "I should've known something was wrong. You're my best friend, Winn, you shouldn't have had to say anything. You always know when something's wrong with me, why couldn't I have done the same thing for you?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn flushed and looked back down at the floor. "I-I didn't realize something was wrong," he confessed. "I'm used to relationships like this."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't deserve that," Kara whispered. "I can go out and beat them up if you want," she offered. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm fine," Winn's laugh was a bit watery. "But I appreciate it and I don't blame you, you know that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," Kara sighed as she released him. "You're probably the kindest person I know, Winn, and I'm glad to be your friend."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn sighed internally again but this time in relief. It looked like the two were going to be alright. Now if they could only get over/realize the mutual crushes they had for each (and James) then everything would be perfect.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex and James get to visit and the full incident is revealed.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Kara was in good spirits when she exited the apartment complex. She waved happily at her sister and James who were waiting in the parking lot for her. She had been elected to go first since she felt the most guilty. Sure her eyes were a little red and she still wanted to punch Lyra but she did feel a little bit better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He looks better," she announced. "J'onn's making him think about looking for a new place."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Good idea," Alex muttered. "I'll go next so you can make out with your boyfriend to make yourself feel better."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James chuckled as she left and wrapped an arm around Kara's shoulders. "So, what happened up there?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He said he was used to bad relationships," she rested her head on his chest. "He didn't think anything was wrong when she started hurting him."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James's hold on her tightened. "I wish there was a way for him to learn about how a </span>
  <em>
    <span>real</span>
  </em>
  <span> relationship was supposed to work."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara hesitated. It was something she had been thinking about since getting the news. She wasn't stupid, she knew Winn had feelings for her and James but she hadn't said anything, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. What she </span>
  <em>
    <span>hadn't </span>
  </em>
  <span>realized was that she had feelings for Winn, not until she had seen him laying in the hospital bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"James," she said carefully. "How do you feel about Winn?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could feel him tense. "Winn's my best friend, you know that."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara rolled her eyes. "James, I know you have a crush on him and it's okay, I do too."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You do?" James pulled back so he could look at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara nodded. "We could, we could invite him to join us," she suggested. "Not right now though, after he's healed."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yeah I don't think he's up for a relationship right now," James agreed. "But when he's ready we'll be there."</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn looked much better, at least in Alex's opinion. True his hands were shaking and he kept tripping over his words but he was awake and </span>
  <em>
    <span>safe</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He didn't ask about Lyra so Alex didn't bring her up. Instead, she told him some amusing stories about things that had happened at work, getting a few chuckles from him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I brought you some books from work," Alex handed him a stack of books, none of which were in English. "I know you need something to do so you don't get too bored so I figured you could learn a new alien language or something."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn sent her a thumbs up and she smiled even as Winn flipped through the books.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know a little bit of this one," he held up one of the books, "But it would be fun to learn another one. I want to learn to speak every language if I can."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well if anyone could it would be you," she agreed. She knew a </span>
  <em>
    <span>little</span>
  </em>
  <span> bit of Martian but that was about it. Speaking alien wasn't a requirement for the job but it was certainly useful.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn, on the other hand, was already fluent in Martian and Lyra's language and she knew for a fact that he was trying to learn the Kryptonian language as a surprise for Kara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>How he managed to find time to do that, work and create new inventions while juggling an abusive relationship was beyond her. She was fairly certain that he was an insomniac and knew that he practically lived off of coffee but still. Everyone had a crashing point at some time or another and she suspected that his wasn't very pretty. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, maybe he could actually get some rest now. True, the circumstances weren't the best but she knew that he needed it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She didn't stay long, knowing that James still wanted to see him and seeing that he was starting to yawn.</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, man," James greeted. He would have done their usual fistbump but he wasn't sure how Winn would react. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey," Winn had a pile of books sitting on the coffee table, no doubt from Kara and Alex. "Is that more books?" He eyed the bag in James's hand eagerly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James laughed. "Sorry, buddy, but no. I brought you and J'onn some board games. You need something to keep you occupied that's actually fun."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Board games?" Winn's brow furrowed in that adorable way that it did when he didn't understand something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yep," James refused to acknowledge the possibility that Winn had never played board games before. "I got Monopoly and Scrabble and Sorry." He suspected that Scrabble was going to be Winn's favorite. "We can all come over one night and play some games together. If you're up to it by then," he added.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't mind," J'onn said when Winn turned to look at him. "I find board games most entertaining. Perhaps tomorrow night?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"O-okay," Winn said after both men turned to look at him. "That sounds like fun."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Cool," James grinned. "I'm going to let you get some sleep but I'll text you later."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Bye," Winn's wave was slightly more animated than when James had first arrived.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll walk you out," J'onn said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"How is he?" James asked once they were in the hall. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn sighed. "Not good," he admitted. "He keeps getting upset and he's terrified that she's going to escape and come after the rest of us. I keep trying to convince that's not going to happen but he won't believe me. I'm trying to convince him to see a therapist but he's not exactly thrilled about the idea. Thank you for not bringing her up, he gets really upset when thinking about her."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not a problem and thanks for letting him stay with you. Someone who's good at dealing with panic attacks is probably a good idea."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well if you and Kara want to have a relationship with him then you need to learn."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Somehow, I'm not surprised you knew that," James sighed. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't read your minds," J'onn told him. "I've been seeing how the three of you look at each other. The attraction was obvious but you respect each other too much to say anything. All of you are in relationships and Winn is too scared of losing your friendship to say anything. I ask that you wait, however, until this situation with Lyra is over with before you make a move. He's fragile right now and while you might not mean to you could easily take advantage of him and not even realize it."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," James nodded. "That's why I told Kara we would wait until then. I don't want to overwhelm him."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Which we all appreciate. Perhaps one of you would be willing to check on him during lunch tomorrow? I don't want him at the DEO until Lyra is gone."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James frowned. "Where would she be going? I don't think regular jails are designed to hold aliens."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"There is more than one DEO office," J'onn explained. "Typically she would stay at this one but I'm in the process of having her transferred to the one in Canada. The details haven't been released, all they know is that she tried to kill a DEO Agent. Winn doesn't need the added humiliation."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No he doesn't," James agreed. "I imagine he's ashamed enough knowing that we know."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"He's trying not to be but it is hard for someone who has no self-esteem like he does. We were actually making progress but now," J'onn shook his head. "I only hope we can get it back."</span>
</p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was midnight when J'onn woke from a sound sleep. For a moment he simply laid there, wondering what had awoken him when he felt it: pure fear. It filled his entire apartment and seemed to be coming from his guest room.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wasted no time in getting up and hurrying down the hall. Winn was tossing and turning, his brow covered in sweat and all the covers on the floor.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No," he whimpered. "Please, stop, no."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn?" J'onn rushed his side, gently shaking the younger man. When he didn't respond J'onn sighed and placed his hands on either side of Winn's face before entering his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm sorry," Winn cowered in the corner as a beer bottle shattered just inches from his head.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"You should be!" Fury shone in Lyra's eyes as she threw another bottle, Winn barely getting out of the way in time. "All I wanted was to have a nice, relaxing morning and what do I get? I get woken up because </span>
  </em>
  <span>you</span>
  <em>
    <span> decided to be a clumsy idiot and break a plate! It's bad enough I have to make breakfast for you, do you expect me to clean up after you too?"</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"I'm sorry," Winn was shaking in terror. "I-I was just trying to put the dishes up, I swear. I just wanted to surprise you."</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Well you certainly succeeded!" She snapped. "I'm tired of you destroying everything! Maybe I should destroy your stuff and see how you like it!" She stormed out of the kitchen, Winn reluctantly following her.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He didn't want to, he wanted to run away, run somewhere where he would be safe but he couldn't. She loved him, so he was safe here, with her. She only hurt him because he </span>
  </em>
  <span>made</span>
  <em>
    <span> her. He was bad, he misbehaved so she had to punish him. It was for his own good, really.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>By the time he reached the living room she had already started destroying his things. His books, his gifts from </span>
  </em>
  <span>Kara</span>
  <em>
    <span>, from his </span>
  </em>
  <span>mother</span>
  <em>
    <span> were now scattered across the floor. The picture of him and Kara was torn, he couldn't fix it. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Something in him </span>
  </em>
  <span>broke</span>
  <em>
    <span>. Lyra </span>
  </em>
  <span>knew</span>
  <em>
    <span> that those things were irreplaceable yet she had destroyed them anyways. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I made another rule for you to follow, if someone goes out of their way to destroy something that's precious to you then you need to get away from them. I want you to promise me that you'll follow this rule. Okay?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>She was distracted so Winn ran. He was good at running and cowering so he did that. She was screaming now, threatening him no doubt but he couldn't make out what she was saying, his ears were ringing and the words were muffled.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>He had just reached the stairs when he felt hands on his back and he went flying.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn," J'onn was still cradling his face when Winn finally woke up. "It's alright, you're safe here, I promise. It was just a nightmare, she can't hurt you anymore."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn was shaking, tears rolling down his cheeks. "S-she destroyed my stuff! It was </span>
  <em>
    <span>mine</span>
  </em>
  <span> and she destroyed it!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," J'onn hugged him. "Some things can't be replaced," he thought of the pictures his daughters had drawn for him. They were childish scribbles but he would be devastated if something happened to them. If nothing else he had the memories of their love but Winn didn't have that. Yes, he had Kara's love but his mother's? No and it made the destruction of her gift all the worse.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"We can't replace some of that stuff but we can help you make new memories," J'onn told him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I thought-I thought that she loved me. She said she did."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn sounded so miserable that J'onn hated to add to it but Winn needed to hear the truth. "She was lying," J'onn said. "She never loved you. But we do. You're part of our family and we will never hurt you. I promise."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," Winn whispered between sobs. "I know."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you want to try and get some more sleep?" Jonn asked. "Or are you just going to stay up?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'll probably read those books Alex gave me," Winn's voice was slightly muffled and shaky as he pulled back. "I've almost mastered Venetian and I wanted to start working on the Daxamite language."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's a very interesting language," J'onn agreed. "Perhaps I could be of some assistance. I am fluent in many languages, some of which we don't have books on. I could help you learn more than what we have available."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn visibly brightened. "Really? That would be great. The more I know the more I can learn. I really want to see about making something that will allow us, and Kara, to see aliens that can turn invisible."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That would be useful," J'onn admitted. "Very useful."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>More of Winn's past is revealed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Trigger warning: domestic violence and rape/non-con mentioned.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>James was on his lunch break when he swung by J'onn's apartment to check on Winn. J'onn had given each of them a key so James let himself in, calling out as he did so.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Winn, it's me, James. I just wanted to check and see if you were hungry. I brought Noonan's."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Well, technically, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Kara </span>
  </em>
  <span>had bought the food before dropping it off with James so he could take it to Winn. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm in the bathroom," Winn called out. "I'll be out in a minute."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay," James used the time to take the food out of the bag and get it situated so Winn didn't have to try and open it one-handed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The TV was on mute but some kind of sci-fi movie was playing and his books were spread out on the coffee table. James didn't see an order to the chaos but decided </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> to mess with it, knowing that Winn hated that. Instead he found some dish towels and put them on top of some of the closed books and sat the takeout box on top of that. Winn could rearrange it later if he wanted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn finally came out, hobbling on one crutch. "Thanks for the food," he said as he tried to sit down without ending up on the floor. "But you didn't have to bring any, I could've figured something out."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James frowned at him. "I wanted to," he said simply. "You deserve to have people do nice things for you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn blushed and fidgeted with his cast for a minute. "Thank you," he said quietly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You're welcome," James grinned and took a seat in one of J'onn's armchairs. "So, tell me about this movie you're watching."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn brightened and immediately launched into the story.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was quiet after James left. Winn turned the volume off again so he could try and concentrate on the books he was reading. It was a desperate attempt to try and take his mind off of his crush on James. It was hard though, when James had been nice enough to not only bring him food but also stay and eat with him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn hated being alone although, there were times when being around people got to be more than he could handle and he had to hide but, generally, he liked being around others.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It hadn't taken his friends long to realize that so they made an effort to keep him company when they could.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was one reason he hadn't broken it off with Lyra sooner. As pathetic as it sounded he had liked the company. Sleeping with someone usually kept the nightmares at bay which was the main reason he had the occasional one night stand whenever they got to be too much. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It certainly wasn't for the sex. Through trial and error Winn had discovered something very important about himself: he didn't crave sex. It was… okay but he could live without it. But that, he quickly realized, wasn't the case for everybody. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Paul hadn't particularly cared what Winn wanted and since he was twice his size Winn had only tried fighting him off once before deciding that it wasn't worth the dislocated shoulder. Chris had never hit him but he had used words instead, making Winn feel like even more of a freak than he normally did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Danny though… Danny hadn't tried to hurt Winn, not even once and didn't push him if he didn't feel like it. Yes, Danny had been a little pushy about some things and just a little controlling but he was still the best partner Winn had ever had.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Siobhan… well she reminded Winn a little too much of Paul especially the way she had left bruises on his neck after yanking him closer with his tie so she could kiss him, despite his attempts to protest and push her off.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Lyra had been a mix of Paul and Chris, her words cutting just as deeply as the glass that she threw. Winn's opinion on having sex, or anything really, didn't matter as long as she got what she wanted. She had been less than pleased when his nightmares started up again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was why he had been simultaneously relieved and terrified when he realized that he was in love with both Kara and James. On the one hand, he was ninety-nine percent certain that they would never hurt him but, on the other hand, what if they did? He wasn't sure if he could handle it if they did.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Getting hurt by people he </span>
  <em>
    <span>didn’t </span>
  </em>
  <span>know was one thing, it was how he had survived foster care after all. But people that he knew hurting him? He didn't know why but it always made something in his mind… shatter, leaving him more broken than before.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was afraid of many things, he was afraid of losing the friendships he had worked so hard to develop, afraid of getting hurt again…</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was so tired of being afraid all the time.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was quiet when J'onn got home that night. Winn was nowhere in sight but a gentle probe of the apartment revealed he was in the guest room. The coffee table was spotless, no sign of Winn's books that had been there that morning. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There was no panic radiating but there also wasn't… anything else either. Concerned, J'onn strode to Winn's room. The door was open so he peeked inside.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn lay on his side, facing the door. He was obviously awake but he didn’t react when J'onn came in.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Winn?" J'onn stepped closer to the bed. "Are you okay?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn gave a half-hearted shrug but didn't say anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn frowned. He was well aware of Winn's occasional bouts of depression so he wasn't really surprised that one had hit after everything that had happened. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Do you still feel up to game night or do you want to cancel? No one's feelings will get hurt."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn frowned, obviously thinking it over. Finally, he sat up, still not radiating much of anything. "I'm fine," he said quietly. "They can still come over."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn sighed and carefully sat next to Winn. "You're not fine, anyone could see that right now. Pushing yourself isn't going to make things any better. You've been through a lot of trauma, both recently and in the past. What you need is help, </span>
  <em>
    <span>professional </span>
  </em>
  <span>help."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm not crazy!" Winn was angry now but flinched at the sound of his outburst. "I'm sorry," he said quietly. "But I'm not crazy."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I didn't say you were," J'onn pointed out gently. "Everyone needs help at some point, yours just happens to be now. None of us would think any less of you if you started seeing a therapist." Seeing that Winn still didn't look convinced J'onn continued speaking. "I understand that you might not trust a stranger that much and I understand that. I'm not a qualified counselor but you can always talk to me whenever something is bothering you, no matter what."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you," Winn wiped at his eyes. "I'm just so… tired and I don't even know why."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's called depression," J'onn told him. "There is medication that can help with that, which is another reason why I think you should see someone. You need some stronger anxiety medicine for one thing."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I won't argue with that," Winn laughed weakly. "It-it drove Lyra nuts when I had an episode." He frowned. "It drove all of my exes nuts, actually." He rubbed his cheek ruefully.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It doesn't drive me nuts," J'onn said firmly. "It just makes me worry about you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn flushed in surprise and ducked his head. He radiated disbelief and seemed pleased, the way he always did when people said nice things about him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There were times when J'onn wanted to meet everyone in Winn's past and then yell at them for hurting him, maybe even throw a punch or two. He was the only person that even had an </span>
  <em>
    <span>idea</span>
  </em>
  <span> of how much trauma Winn had been through, how broken the younger man really was.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>If James and Kara really wanted to pursue a romantic relationship with him then they had their work cut out for them. But, if things worked out, then it would be good for Winn. He deserved a happy, healthy relationship with people that he knew wouldn't hurt him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You don't have to worry about me," Winn muttered. "I'll be fine, I always am."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That may be but you don't have to be alone this time," J'onn carefully wrapped Winn in a hug, being mindful of his injuries. Winn was stiff at first but, slowly, he relaxed, leaning his head against J'onn's shoulder. "You'll never be alone again," J'onn promised. "One of us will always be there for you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn let out a choked sob and J'onn held him tighter. "It's okay, i promise that one day everything will be okay."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took a few minutes but Winn finally, reluctantly, pulled away. "I'm cool with game night," he murmured.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Good," J'onn stood and headed for the door. "I think Alex is bringing pizza."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Cool," Winn grinned.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex did indeed bring pizza when she arrived a few minutes later, Kara and James in tow. The three of them wasted no time in making themselves and home and soon they were all gathered around the coffee table, eating pizza and trying to figure out how to play the games James had brought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn, and Winn as it turned out, hadn't played board games before so they had to bring the two of them up to speed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James tried not to think about how sad it was that </span>
  <em>
    <span>Winn </span>
  </em>
  <span>didn't know how to play Monopoly. J'onn he could understand but Winn? In what universe did a child grow up not knowing what Monopoly was? Well, he supposed that's what happened when you were raised by a psychotic mass murderer and a woman who had no qualms about dumping her son on the side of the road.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James had had to bite his tongue when he heard that story to avoid cursing up a storm or breaking something. Why Winn hadn't devoted his time to making her life a living hell was beyond him. But, despite everything people put him through, Winn was a good person. To James's knowledge he didn't hold any grudges and typically forgave anything he was asked to. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It had been far too easy for Lyra and even Siobhan to walk all over him. Kara did it too, just a little and not even on purpose so James tried to be conscientious about doing that. Honestly, the only time Winn stood up for himself was when he was behind his computer or working on an invention. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The man needed a backbone and fast otherwise he would wind up in another situation like the one with Lyra. It made him wonder though, if this was really the first time Winn had been in a situation like this. He hoped not, for Winn's sake. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He hoped that Winn was willing to give being in a relationship with him and Kara a chance. He was afraid that it would overwhelm Winn a little but he deserved a little extra love.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn had even given them a green light of sorts which had relieved him greatly. He had no interest in driving wedges between anyone as that would only hurt Winn in the long run.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He was brought out of his, admittedly depressing, thoughts by Winn who was trying to figure out the rules. James gladly helped him, leaning in just a little closer than necessary as he explained it. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The scent of Winn's shampoo made it worth the dirty looks he got from both J'onn and Kara.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After that, however, he focused on the game and getting Winn to smile and laugh,  a real one and not the fake one he used when trying to cover up his true feelings. They wound up staying up way later than they had planned but it was well worth it in James's humble opinion.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The group finally split up, heading home before work the next day. All things considered, it had been a pretty good day. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>As a member of the asexual community I have a personal headcanon that Winn is asexual. So the rape/non-con warning is mostly because Winn isn't interested in sex but engages in it to keep his romantic partner around.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Alex learns more about Winn's past</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>It had been late when J'onn finally fell asleep. Thankfully, he didn't get woken up so he was in a relatively good mood when he got up. Winn was already up and reading, this time it was one of J'onn's books that was written in Martian.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I hope you don't mind," Winn said quickly when J'onn's eyes fell on the book.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not at all," J'onn assured him. "I'll see if I can find anymore that you might be interested in but until then help yourself to any of the books." He didn't see any reason to tell Winn to be careful, knowing the younger man was very protective of his belongings and that he would treat J'onn's things with the same respect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thanks," Winn grinned. "So when can I go back to work?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not for another two weeks," J'onn told him sternly. "And even then you're on light duty so no computer work. I've got a few small projects I could use your input on so I'll bring them by when I come home."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Thank you, for anything. I really appreciate it," Winn said sincerely. "I mean it, no one's ever been this nice to me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Not a problem," J'onn forced himself to not to dwell on the subject. "I think Kara is going to bring you lunch and I'll call and check on you in a little bit. If you need anything feel free to call and let me know."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I will," Winn nodded.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Even though she had been given permission to take a longer lunch than normal Kara still chose to fly to Noonan's before flying to J'onn's apartment building. The window was open, Winn no doubt having expected her to use it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Even after all this time it still amazed her just how much her best friend knew about her. It only made the realization that she'd failed him miserably hurt even more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She forced herself to push those thoughts away, she was here to cheer Winn up, not bring them both down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Hey, Winn," she grinned as she landed in the living room. She held out the bag then realized Winn could only use one hand. "I'll take care of it," she said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You forgot I only had one hand, didn't you?" Winn said dryly. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yep," she admitted with a laugh. "Let me grab some silverware and plates. J'onn said I could take an extra thirty since I was coming here so find something for us to watch. Please," she added as an afterthought. "If you want to."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James had pointed out that she could be a little bossy from time to time, like Lyra and she was determined not to bring up any bad memories. She wanted Winn to feel safe with her and with James so when they asked him to join them he might feel more inclined to say yes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But getting Winn back to an emotionally stable place was the most important thing right now. Relationships could come later, preferably after Winn's injuries had healed and he stopped flinching when others tried to touch him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She could practically hear the eye roll. "We're watching Star Wars," he called. "And I won't break if you treat me like you normally do."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sounds fun," Kara lied. She liked Star Wars but she knew that it was Winn's favorite go-to movie when he was upset. He had watched it with his parents when he was younger, one of the few times the three of them had done something together.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time she joined him in the living room the first movie of the original trilogy was already playing and he was flipping through a book. She recognized some of the symbols and gently nudged him as she sat his plate down.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Kree?" She asked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Yep," Winn sat the book down and scooted the plate closer to the couch so he could easily reach it. "This is one of my favorite languages to learn," he told her. "It's so fascinating."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Kara smiled as his eyes lit up. He was so… adorable when he was like this and it warmed her heart to see him so happy. She hadn't seen him like that in a long time she realized. "Tell me about it," she requested and he happily obliged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the time she made it back to the DEO close to two hours had passed but J'onn didn't say anything. He did, however, send her back to Winn's apartment to pack up some more of his stuff. Apparently, Winn was seriously considering moving out of his place and she was glad. He needed to find somewhere new so he could get a fresh start.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>To Alex's relief and annoyance Lyra had accepted a plea bargain. She would plead guilty to domestic abuse and attempted murder in exchange for only serving five years at a DEO facility. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On one hand it would save Winn from having to testify against her in front of a court of law. But on the other hand it meant Lyra was getting a reduced sentence. Unless they could find something else against her she would be free in a few years.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Alex had to remind herself to focus on the positive though, namely that Winn would be safe from Lyra for quite some time and would hopefully be in a better frame of mind if she ever chose to return.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not that the bitch would be allowed anywhere </span>
  <em>
    <span>near</span>
  </em>
  <span> Winn if any of them had anything to say about it. True he was a grown man now but that didn't mean he was going to get a say in the matter.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn had forbidden her from seeing Lyra but, to be fair, he didn't go see her himself either. She chose not to focus on the alien and instead thought about Winn. She had snuck a peek at his file while J'onn was at the hospital and a new wave of protectiveness had filled her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn's file was literally three inches thick and included ten different foster homes and medical records. The details about his years spent with his birth parents (Alex refused to acknowledge them as his 'real' parents) were sparse but it did show he had been malnourished and was frightened of women.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>On the way home from court his mother had literally left him on the side of the highway before vanishing. Most foster homes hadn't been willing to take in, let alone care for, the son of a mass murderer so Winn had moved around a lot.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>At least three of the homes had been confirmed as physically abusive with the police interceding in two of them. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had been lucky enough to get legally emancipated at sixteen and got a full ride to MIT. While there he had gone through three boyfriends, the first resulting in domestic disturbance calls and hospital visits before getting arrested for attacking a cop. There was an additional note stating that he was actually a member of the Epsilon species which surprised Alex. Idly she wondered if Winn had been aware of that little tidbit or not.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn had returned to National City after graduating and going straight to work for CatCo then the DEO.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Honestly, how Winn was able to keep going was beyond Alex. She would have given up long ago and found somewhere to curl up and die. But Winn had somehow found the inner strength needed to keep on going. It was… impressive to say the least. She admired him for it and wondered if anyone had ever told him that he was stronger than he thought.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Probably not so, she resolved to tell him and give him a hug the next time she saw him.</span>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>When he came home that night J'onn brought a box of stuff with him. He sat the box on the coffee table next to a stack of books and proceeded to empty it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What's all this?" Winn asked as J'onn pulled out hard-drives and blueprints.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Stuff I need your input on," J'onn answered. "I need someone to review these tapes but no one else wants to do it. Also, Agent Vasquez was trying to create an energy shield for use in the field but keeps getting stumped so I said I would have you take a look at it but only if you want to and feel up to it," he added sternly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn was supposed to be </span>
  <em>
    <span>resting</span>
  </em>
  <span> after all but he knew how quickly the younger man could get bored and when he did his anxiety would spiral out of control and he was trying to avoid that. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn was already eyeing the stuff eagerly though and J'onn couldn't help but smile. "You can look at them after we eat. I hope you like spaghetti."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I haven't had spaghetti in ages," Winn said wistfully. "I think Kara made some a few years ago and gave me some of her leftovers."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You know," J'onn looked down at his pseudo son, "All you have to do is ask and one of us will help you with whatever you want, whether it's food or something else."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Winn bit his lip and nodded. "I know," he said quietly. "I- I'm trying."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn smiled and ruffled Winn's hair, ignoring the not so manly squeak. "I know you are," was all he said before heading to the kitchen. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The instant supper was over Winn started going through video footage while glancing at the blueprints. For the first time in several days his mind was completely at ease as he lost himself in work. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>J'onn smiled warmly and got to work on cleaning up the kitchen. He predicted that Winn would stay up all night (or try to at least) and fall asleep on top of his laptop. It was a good way to wear himself out so he wasn't as likely to have nightmares but it wasn't healthy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Since the weekend was coming up J'onn decided to try and see if he could get Winn to at least help him sort out some of the bad memories, maybe help ease the nightmares a little. He wasn't a professional but Winn trusted him so he was definitely one of the few that had a chance at knowing what exactly Winn had been through. Paper files could only tell so much after all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was nearly midnight when J'onn finally decided to go to bed. Winn had spent the last two hours muttering to himself as he analyzed data, occasionally asking J'onn for clarification on a case. The blueprints were now covered in scribbles that J'onn couldn't even hope to decipher. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"So how's Lyra doing?" Winn tried to sound casual, his hands shaking a bit.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Not entirely startled J'onn answered, "She pled guilty and is being transferred to Canada. She'll be released in five years and will be treated well."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's good," Winn didn't look up from his laptop but J'onn could feel the relief and the hurt intermingled with it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"She didn't try to fight the charges," J'onn told him. "The second we offered her a deal she took it. We're looking to see if we can find something else to charge her with so she stays behind bars longer and can't hurt anyone else."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't know of anything," Winn said quietly. "I mean, she has a brother but that's all I know."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I know," J'onn assured him. "You would have said something if she was doing anything illegal."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>That was the honest truth. Winn would never admit to her hurting him but he would turn her in in a heartbeat if he caught her stealing or something similar. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"But I think it's time we both go to bed," J'onn stood up, yawning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It's not that late," Winn protested then looked at the clock, his eyes widening. "Maybe it is."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"It is," J'onn assured him. "You should get some rest, I think Alex or James is coming by tomorrow. The projects can wait until then."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Okay," Winn sighed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It took some careful maneuvering but he finally managed to stand on his own and make his way to his temporary bedroom. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After he was sure that Winn could handle the rest J'onn went to his room and quickly fell asleep.</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>J'onn dives into Winn's mind.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning: Graphic child/domestic abuse and rape/non-con heavily implied.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was Friday night when J'onn finally broached the subject of Winn's nightmares. The younger man was still having them and J'onn waited until it was closer to bedtime before finally speaking.</p><p>"Winn, can we talk?"</p><p>"Hmm?" It took Winn a minute to realize that J'onn was speaking to him. "Sorry, I was a little distracted." He put the pencil down, not realizing there was an inkstain on his cheek.</p><p>J'onn smiled, knowing that Winn had already gone through all of the video footage and was still pouring over the blueprints as he made modifications.</p><p>"It's alright, I wanted to talk to you about your nightmares."</p><p>As expected Winn froze. "Are-are they bothering you? I can find somewhere else to stay I mean-"</p><p>"Winn," J'onn cut him off. "I'm not mad. You can't help that you get nightmares, everyone does at some point, even I get them."</p><p>"Really?" Winn looked curious and relieved at the same time.</p><p>"Really," J'onn confirmed. He took a seat next to Winn and rested a hand on his shoulder. "Having nightmares doesn't make you weak, it just makes you human."</p><p>"I guess," Winn mumbled.</p><p>"If you would allow me I can take a look at your nightmares and see if I can help you gain some control. It's not a perfect science but I might be able to help you learn to take control of them so you can sleep better at night."</p><p>Winn hesitated then nodded, albeit reluctantly. "You can look," his hands shook a little but he didn't try to move.</p><p>"Thank you," J'onn squeezed his shoulder then placed both hands on either side of Winn's face.</p><p>Winn's mind looked an awful lot like his computer screen: lines of computer code comprised the landscape, the letters and numbers coming together to form pictures.</p><p>There didn't appear to be any order but J'onn knew better. Winn was incredibly organized so it only made sense that his mind would be too.</p><p>
  <em>"It's okay, Winn, I'm just here to help but only if you let me."</em>
</p><p>The code shifted and J'onn was suddenly in a hallway, locked doors clearly labeled on either side of him. Most of the doors were damaged, remnants of memory pouring out.</p><p>He chose the nearest door, labeled 'Childhood: Birth Parents'. It had the most damage and crumbled beneath his hand as he opened it. Wonderful. He had a lot of damage to repair, he could see that now. He stepped in and was immediately assaulted by the memories.</p><p>
  <em>It was dark in the closet, it was always dark there. Winn huddled in the back, wrapping his arms around himself and trying to ignore the fact that he really had to pee. He had forgotten to go while he was at school and was now paying the price.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The door swung open and he winced as light flooded the small space, momentarily blinding him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Get up," his mother ordered. "Your father will be home in a few minutes so hurry it up."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn wasted no time in getting up. His legs hurt and wobbled a little as he took a step forward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>His mother sneered down at him. "Pathetic," she muttered. "Remember, you can't tell your father about this."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Yes, mother," he said obediently.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Without warning her hand struck his cheek and he bit his lip to avoid crying out in pain. "Don't ever call me that when we're alone," she hissed. "Now go and get started on your homework, he'll expect you to be done when he gets home."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn nodded, blinking away the tears as he rushed to do her bidding. He knew there would be consequences if he didn't.</em>
</p><p>J'onn took a deep breath and grabbed the memory. He searched for others like it and packed them carefully, lining them along shelves that he hastily constructed. They could still be accessed but, now at least, they wouldn't be able to consume Winn's mind the way they had before.</p><p>There were some other unpleasant memories, mostly involving his mother but some were of his father and his bombs malfunctioning. But soon they were all arranged and he rebuilt the door, adding several locks to it before moving to the next.</p><p>'Childhood: Foster Parents' was next. J'onn was dreading it before he even entered. Winn's hospital records had tripled after he was put in foster care.</p><p>
  <em>"Monster!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn screamed as the leather belt impacted with his bare skin. He didn't even know what he had done wrong this time! All he had wanted to do was fix the toaster, so why was he being punished for that?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You were trying to kill us all, isn't that right?" His foster father was furious and that terrified Winn.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>He had never missed his mother more than he did that very minute. True, she hated him but she had never hurt him like this.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I ju-just wanted to help," he sobbed as the belt struck him again. Hell, he missed the closet at this point. At least he had been safe in there, his mother wouldn't even come in.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"By killing us all?!" Another strike, this one tearing open an old, almost healed injury.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn didn't know how no one heard him screaming and sobbing. Why didn't anyone care? Was he that unlovable, that much of a monster? Why…why didn't anyone love him? His parents hadn't, of that he was certain. He had thought foster care might be his second chance, a place where he could find a real family but he was wrong. He was never going to find someone that loved him, he was a lost cause.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Finally, at long last, the beating was over with and Winn lay on the floor, sobbing as blood dripped from his body. It hurt to breathe, let alone move.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"There had better not be any blood on my carpet when I get up," his foster father threatened, kicking Winn in the ribs before leaving the room.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn lay there for several more minutes, quietly sobbing before he tried to get up. The pain was so intense he almost blacked out but he forced himself to stand. Things would be even worse if he disobeyed.</em>
</p><p>J'onn wanted so badly to kill someone right now. He took a quick peek to find out the man's name before wrapping this memory as well. There were dozens of memories like these and J'onn wrapped them extra tight.</p><p>He saw no reason to go through all them, of watching Winn be humiliated and abused for several years. True, not all of the homes had been physically abusive but that didn't make it any easier to watch.</p><p>'Paul' was next. J'onn was hesitant to go in. He knew this relationship had been physically abusive and he really, really didn't want to know if it had been worse and he was still suspicious about his humanity. But, unfortunately, the memories from within were leaking out into the hallway and infecting some of the other rooms.</p><p>With a heavy sigh, J'onn entered the room, one of the worst memories immediately seeking him out.</p><p>
  <em>Winn flinched as the beer bottle shattered next to his head. At least it had been empty and not full like the ones from yesterday. It wasn't fun trying to scrub beer off the walls and floor. But still, he didn't like trying to sweep up all of the little shards of glass.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Why do you insist on fighting me on this?" Paul was furious but he typically was.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I-I just don't feel like it tonight," Winn hoped things didn't get physical again. There was no way he could hope to fight Paul off if it came to that.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"You never feel like it!" Another bottle, this one hitting the side of Winn's head. "Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? I thought you humans were supposed to be sex maniacs!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn flinched. When Paul started digging out the 'human' card then things usually got worse. His suspicions were confirmed when a tentacle wrapped around his throat, dragging him to where Paul stood.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I'm sorry," he gasped, fingers trying desperately to pry the tentacle off so he could breathe. "I- I'll do whatever you want just please let me go."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Paul smirked and held on until Winn's vision started getting blurry then let go, Winn collapsing to the floor, rubbing his sore throat.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Five minutes," Paul told him. "Clean up this mess, I'll be waiting in the bedroom."</em>
</p><p>J'onn was relieved when the memory ended there. He had no desire to see how it played out. He had known for awhile that Winn was asexual but, rather naively, had assumed that his partners had respected that. Obviously not. He also needed to have a long talk with James and Kara.</p><p>He was more than happy to lock away the memories and added several extra locks to the door. He was just glad Paul hadn't soured Winn's trust in aliens but he should really look to see where Paul was now. He wouldn't be surprised if he was already in DEO custody.</p><p>'Chris' was next and J'onn was relieved to know that there hadn't been any violence in this relationship. That didn't mean it had been a good one, however, so J'onn was careful as he entered. The memories in this one were different, chipping away at the walls instead of actively destroying everything.</p><p>
  <em>"You're such a freak! You know that, right?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn's face burned and he looked at his feet instead of answering. Chris was only slightly better than Paul when it came to the topic of sex. He had never forced Winn to do anything but he knew how to make him feel guilty about it.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"I mean: who doesn't like having sex?"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The question was rhetorical but Winn answered it anyways. "I don't," his voice was quiet and he still didn't look up. He didn't get why everyone was so worked up about it. Sure, sex was okay but it wasn't worth all of this fuss.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"That's my point! You're a freak! Honestly, I don't know why I bother staying with you if you can't even take care of me the way you're supposed to."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn looked up at that, his eyes wide. "Leave?" His voice sounded scared. "I-I I'll have sex with you if you'll stay."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Chris looked at him in contempt. "You're pathetic, I hope you know that."</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Winn didn't say anything, there was no need. He knew he was pathetic, that he was so desperate to not be alone that he would do anything to avoid it.</em>
</p><p>By now J'onn had a long mental list of people to hunt down and give a piece of his mind to. He added Chris to the bottom of the list and fixed the damage done to the walls.</p><p>He ignored the room 'Danny', knowing that that had been a fairly healthy relationship. True, it hadn't helped Winn's abandonment issues but didn't cause any damage to his mind, not really.</p><p>There was very little damage to 'Siobhan' so he left it alone as well and moved to 'Lyra' which had the most damage. He had already seen a few of the memories associate with her so he was relieved to not be barraged by more. Instead, he focused on fixing things.</p><p>Once he was done he surveyed the hallway with pride, noticing that there was only one door left. It wasn't damaged - in fact it had multiple bolts and locks on it. But, he noticed, it appeared to be sucking energy from different parts of the mind.</p><p>J'onn frowned and stepped closer only to come to a stop. Representations of himself, James, Kara and Alex stood in front of it now, heavily armed.</p><p><em>"Winn,"</em> he called.<em> "You need to let me in. I mean no harm, you know that."</em></p><p><em>"I don't want to remember, these were buried for a reason,"</em> the four spoke, Winn's voice coming out of their mouths.</p><p>In an instant J'onn understood what was happening. These were Winn's repressed memories, the ones so awful he had locked away so that he couldn't remember them.</p><p>
  <em>"I understand but they are hurting you. In order to heal you must free them. Please. You deserve to heal, to have an undamaged mind but you must take the first step."</em>
</p><p>Tears shone in their eyes then the four disappeared. J'onn stepped forward and with a wave of his hand the locks and bolts opened and at last the door swung open.</p><p>J'onn took a deep breath then stepped inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I actually never finished the show or even season one for that matter so if anything is "no canon"...please don't say anything. This is fanfiction and therefore, "not canon". I've watched clips from later episodes and done enough research to have a vague idea of what happens.<br/>So, here's the basics I've decided on for my story: there will be no Mon-El (at least not here), everyone knows J'onn is an alien, no one works at CatCo, Lyra broke a beer bottle in Winn's face, there is no Guardian and everyone works for the DEO.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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